I am considering legal separation to see if time apart and living away from each other could help heal or maybe not go straight to divorce?
Has anyone ever gone this route?
How has your WS responded?
WS and I legally separated. D-Day was Thanksgiving, mid/late December I found A had gone underground, I blew up the affair to family & friends and WS moved out New Years Day at my insistence.
A local law school offered free divorce/mediation services. We got 4-6 sessions handled by a graduating law student, supervised by a professor. I wanted to legally separate as I was a SAHM with a toddler and wanted to stay on WS's really really really good insurance.
We covered things like child and spousal support, who would cover the vet bills for our cat, and which holidays the kids would spend with which parent, and left with a 40-page separation agreement. If we decided to divorce, the paperwork would basically roll over. If we decided to undo the separation, we would need to fill out separate paperwork.
WS ended his affair the week before we signed off on the agreement, moved into his grandma's house and then got a small apartment. He lived there for roughly two years, the kids would stay with him there, and then eventually (after lots of talking, therapy, books, mediation etc.) I started staying over sometimes, too.
We moved back in with each other fulltime March 2020 (when the pandemic first and things were being locked down).
I'm really glad that we legally separated. It helped me feel safer knowing that we put everything in writing and I could walk away if I chose to at any time. I'm grateful that my WS was at least decent enough during his A to not try to screw me over, give me primary physical custody, agree to pay me spousal support until our toddler was in schoop fulltime, etc.